Horrible

My post for yesterday, with the photo of our "pretty" view, became sadly ironic afterwards. After posting it, I left home for the library. Upon my return, I found our street blocked off, and swarmed with reporters and their giant vans. I asked a reporter what was going on and he said, "Oh, something terrible happened in that building."

"Which one?" I asked.
"The Devonshire," he replied.
"That's MY BUILDING. WHAT HAPPENED?" I felt my pulse start to race.
"What floor do you live on?"
"The 31st. WHY? WHAT'S going on?" I started to fear the worst, picturing what might have happened on my floor, or to Brian, as the reporter "conferred" with others about whether he should tell me.

He told me a 28-year old woman had jumped out her 24th floor apartment window with her nine-month old baby in tow. I was sickened. I didn't know what to say. Suicide is already a horribly selfish thing to do, but I just cannot comprehend how she took her baby with her in death. The news stories (it lead last night and this morning) state that she did so as her husband was entering her apartment after work. Brian theorizes that she must have wanted to punish her husband badly and ruin his life. If she'd left the baby, they could have gone on without her.

In any event, the human tendency to gawk is alive in downtown Boston. This one disturbed woman's perishing left the street filled with tourists, professionals, and especially reporters. Brian and I were accosted by reporters when coming home, when leaving for dinner and when we returned. THEN, I was stopped by a Globe reporter when I left at midnight to head to my office. And even we are not immune. Brian has a theory. I'm writing about it right now. It is horrible, but I find it hard not to keep wondering which of the seemingly happy, beautiful young mothers in our building, with their colorful strollers and brand-new "Mommy and Me" class-- and which of the babies I've cooed at this summer in the elevator-- no longer live here. Somehow the view out our window seems a little more threatening, a little less serene, than it did yesterday morning.

(By the way, for the record, the media always gets something wrong. There are no floors for tourists. The building does have a few units rented by local firms for visitors. My law firm has two.)